By Daniel Rigney
Weekend’s here. Wonder what’s playing at our neighborhood Edwards Theatres Regal Entertainment Group Greenway Grand Palace Stadium 24 & RPX. (You think I’m making this name up? Bet me.)
Let’s see. There’s …
Paranormal Activity: A haunted house tries to kill the people who live in it. Neighborhood real estate panic ensues.
Texas Killing Field: Sadistic serial killer mutilates his victims and dumps them in a field near this very theater. Based on a true unsolved-murder story.
The Thing: A shape-shifting creature mutates into whatever it kills. How do you know the creature isn’t the stranger in the seat next to you? Only a jumbo drink and an expensive bucket of popcorn can save you now.
The Ides of March: Will a deeply cynical and corrupt political process strangle the last vestige of youthful hope in a fearful nation? Documentary.
Killer Elite: Assassination-and-revenge movie promises high body counts delivered right to your seat. Good bang for your violent entertainment buck.
Contagion: Lethal airborne virus threatens to kill billions. You may be breathing it in right now. Prepare for an epidemic of timely metaphors.
I could choose one of these cultural viruses, or I could drive out to the Cinemark Tinsel Town Jacinto City and catch Abduction (Honey, should we call home?) or Shark Night 3D ("It's coming from inside the id!").
Or I could just stay as far away from the theaters as possible.
Weekend’s here. Wonder what’s playing at our neighborhood Edwards Theatres Regal Entertainment Group Greenway Grand Palace Stadium 24 & RPX. (You think I’m making this name up? Bet me.)
Let’s see. There’s …
Paranormal Activity: A haunted house tries to kill the people who live in it. Neighborhood real estate panic ensues.
Texas Killing Field: Sadistic serial killer mutilates his victims and dumps them in a field near this very theater. Based on a true unsolved-murder story.
The Thing: A shape-shifting creature mutates into whatever it kills. How do you know the creature isn’t the stranger in the seat next to you? Only a jumbo drink and an expensive bucket of popcorn can save you now.
The Ides of March: Will a deeply cynical and corrupt political process strangle the last vestige of youthful hope in a fearful nation? Documentary.
Killer Elite: Assassination-and-revenge movie promises high body counts delivered right to your seat. Good bang for your violent entertainment buck.
Contagion: Lethal airborne virus threatens to kill billions. You may be breathing it in right now. Prepare for an epidemic of timely metaphors.
I could choose one of these cultural viruses, or I could drive out to the Cinemark Tinsel Town Jacinto City and catch Abduction (Honey, should we call home?) or Shark Night 3D ("It's coming from inside the id!").
Or I could just stay as far away from the theaters as possible.
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