By Daniel Rigney
I’m in a big hurry this morning. Gotta get to my meditation group. It starts in an hour, and it’s about twelve and a half minutes away by car if the traffic isn’t bad. But first I have to feed the dogs, make the coffee, and grab some breakfast. (Bananas are fast. I can wash one down with a protein shake. Don’t forget to take the damned vitamin supplements.) Then I’ve gotta shower and dress, and get the newspaper out front before some literate thief steals it.
Where are my damned car keys? Where did I leave those things last night? Maybe they’re in yesterday’s pants pocket. Now if I can just remember where I left those pants. Oh, there they are. Check your pockets. Not there, goddammit. Did I leave them on the bureau? Okay, found them.
Fast walk to the car. Check quickly for flat tires. Jump in and go. I hope the cops aren’t out this morning. I’ve gotta make good time. Is this the longest traffic light in history? Green means go, lady! Where did you go to driving school!?
Okay, I’m to the traffic circle now, and I still have four minutes to get my ass on that meditation cushion. I can’t be late. It’s so embarrassing to arrive late to a meditation group. Shows you lack spiritual discipline and mindfulness. Loser.
I think I’m about two minutes late now, and I can’t find a parking place. Is that guy going in or coming out? Make up your mind, Hamlet!
I get into the building and speedwalk down the hallway to the meditation room. I try to open the door quietly, but it isn’t cooperating. Creeeeeeeeeek. Everyone in the room seems to grimace slightly without looking up or opening their eyes. You think you can hear them muttering to themselves.
Okay, my shoes are off and I’m on the cushion. Time to quiet the old monkey mind.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breath in …
Wait, did I leave the stove on? I’m pretty sure I left the stove on.
Danagram
P.S.: A tip of the cap to Natalie Browne for suggesting the title, perhaps unintentionally.
Readers annoyed by this post may also be annoyed by Monkey Mindfulness.
I’m in a big hurry this morning. Gotta get to my meditation group. It starts in an hour, and it’s about twelve and a half minutes away by car if the traffic isn’t bad. But first I have to feed the dogs, make the coffee, and grab some breakfast. (Bananas are fast. I can wash one down with a protein shake. Don’t forget to take the damned vitamin supplements.) Then I’ve gotta shower and dress, and get the newspaper out front before some literate thief steals it.
Where are my damned car keys? Where did I leave those things last night? Maybe they’re in yesterday’s pants pocket. Now if I can just remember where I left those pants. Oh, there they are. Check your pockets. Not there, goddammit. Did I leave them on the bureau? Okay, found them.
Fast walk to the car. Check quickly for flat tires. Jump in and go. I hope the cops aren’t out this morning. I’ve gotta make good time. Is this the longest traffic light in history? Green means go, lady! Where did you go to driving school!?
Okay, I’m to the traffic circle now, and I still have four minutes to get my ass on that meditation cushion. I can’t be late. It’s so embarrassing to arrive late to a meditation group. Shows you lack spiritual discipline and mindfulness. Loser.
I think I’m about two minutes late now, and I can’t find a parking place. Is that guy going in or coming out? Make up your mind, Hamlet!
I get into the building and speedwalk down the hallway to the meditation room. I try to open the door quietly, but it isn’t cooperating. Creeeeeeeeeek. Everyone in the room seems to grimace slightly without looking up or opening their eyes. You think you can hear them muttering to themselves.
Okay, my shoes are off and I’m on the cushion. Time to quiet the old monkey mind.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breath in …
Wait, did I leave the stove on? I’m pretty sure I left the stove on.
Danagram
P.S.: A tip of the cap to Natalie Browne for suggesting the title, perhaps unintentionally.
Readers annoyed by this post may also be annoyed by Monkey Mindfulness.
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